Quality Mirrors

Influences

New Order, “Crystal”

Spacetime Continuum, “Ping Pong” (and yes, this is the second song on this album influenced by the Sea Biscuit album – no real idea how that happened)

Shoegaze generally (which is part of why the vocals and drums are mixed a tinge lower than in the rest of the album – I wanted to emphasize the dreaminess)

Hooverphonic, “One Way Ride” (this would be a super-subconscious one, but it is approximately the same sonic space, and I do like the song)

Story

How can one describe a life of low self-identity, of needing other people to tell you what you are because you can’t see yourself that well? I landed early on needing to know who I am by seeing myself in others, making my own self-improvement dependent on my efforts to keep good people – quality mirrors – around me so I can keep getting accurate reflections.

The song’s original lyrics started out with “Like a reverse vampire”; that was ill-conceived. When I researched farsightedness – which can mean intuitive perspicacity but also implies something about your inability to understand things up close because you don’t or can’t see there – it came into focus (ha I’m so funny). I can only see things far away, so I need to look into a mirror far away to look at myself. That also syncs up with the frequent subtheme in my lyrics about my autism and the blind spots and distances it creates. So from that launchpad, I think the lyrics come together quite nicely as an explanation that also affords me to speak in gratitude to the quality mirrors who are in my life.

Now, the lyrics coming together quite nicely is different from the music coming together quite nicely. New Order’s “Crystal” was an early frame of reference, but I kept squeezing odd time signatures in (the chorus keeps adding an extra eighth note every phrase, so it’s in (10+11+12+13)/8 time). It stopped being driving rock and started being more precious, so maintaining room for that propulsive energy was tricky. It’s hard when you want to write some bracing rock and end up bringing in acoustic guitars and harps instead. Such is my life? Yeah. Let’s say that.

Lyrics

Hyperopically, if the topic’s me, I’m of little use
I’m too farsighted to be self-possessed
So I have to set mirrors up, or get my long-suffering friends
To tell me what I hold close to my chest

Some people always know where they stand
I have to triangulate, then do it again
The best I can hope for is quality mirrors, scratch-resistant,
That retain their integrity over time

If I get closer, you’ll become a blur, and I’ll step on your toes
I keep my distance as a vital vantage
I want to run to you, like you get to do
But I’d fall on my face and I’d bleed and I’d cry
With no sense of where to place the tissue or bandage

Some people always know where they stand
I have to triangulate, then do it again
The best I can hope for is quality mirrors, scratch-resistant,
That retain their integrity over time

To my nearest unclearest,
Fuzzily standing by
I wish I could hold you close
Without protection over your eyes
I’m sorry it’s so tough
To love me through the defects
But, for what it’s worth, I’m on your side forever
If you’re willing to reflect the things I can’t see

Some people always know where they stand
I have to triangulate, then do it again
All I hope for is that you can love me from a distance
That maintains my perspective and all your limbs

Some press about it

“The title track, “Quality Mirrors,” starts with cinematic elements and then changes to a modern electronic atmosphere with trip-hop beats. The presence of atmospheric female vocals enhances the track’s personal and atmospheric nature.” – Skylight.gr [Note: I’m the vocals on this song. Given that one reviewer has said my voice has an ’80s androgyny to it, I guess high-register Brandon is atmospheric female Brandon.]

“Quality Mirrors [is] a chamber pop palace of emotional despair, to those who know, where they might stand one day, feelings changed [and] things mutated.” – Whisperin and Hollerin

Stop listening to me sing for a bit, and gather round the Poet of the Mic